Seven Things To Maintain Our Self-Esteem

First of all ...... it's great to be back. I've been technically 'missing in action' due to 4 months of family and personal health issues which I must admit, although everyone can cite times when things weren't going too well, have proved to be a testing period, to say the least.

Although the above gave me a deeper understanding into the term 'running about like a blue (something) fly' it also gave me some time for reflection, which was the subject of our most recent Table of Eight meeting during which I was asked "How do you manage to stay positive after what you've been through recently?"

Well! the answer is simple really. Irrespective of how bad things get .... they could always be worse, right?

I mean, theoretically speaking ... if I lived in north east Japan, or Edinburgh had just experienced 62 tornados as some states in America have recently, or why I had just been asked to appear on a certain breakfast tv show to explain a questionable DNA connection to a female politician ....... any one of those would be much much worse.

So in my reply to 'chair seven' of our table of eight was my top seven recommendations to maintain personal confidence and self esteem.

Seven Things We Can All Do To Maintain Our Self-Esteem (one a day)

The following are my top seven tips for increasing your self-esteem, enhancing your self-confidence, and igniting your motivation. You may recognize some of them - and will probably have others - as things you naturally do in your interactions with other people. But if you don't, I suggest you motivate yourself to take some of these important steps immediately.

In many cases we aren't implementing what we know is best for our personal development. So for most people, even though we all know that there is a tremendous amount to learn, it isn't knowledge that's holding you back.

We need a lot more doing of the right things and a lot less time spent on the wrong things.

Like people trying to lose weight, I think we get caught up in the day to day acivities. We're busy doing stuff, we forget, we procrastinate, we're tempted to do things that are fun, as opposed to doing what will get results and overall, we like the freedom of doing pretty much as we please. Unfortunately if you keep doing this, you'll keep getting what you've always got.

First, develop the art of 'letting the little things go' like forgetting errors in judgement of the past and stop worrying about what hasn't yet happened in the future. I'm not saying don't plan but rather just set your goals and watch them happen.

Second, always greet others with a smile and make eye contact. A smile and direct eye contact convey a confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly in the office and at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

Third, always show real sincere appreciation for a gift or complement. Don't underestimate or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a mark of an individual with self-esteem.

Fourth, don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others - and that's because they don't perceive themselves as worthy of respect.

Fifth, don't make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, then let it go. When you hear yourself criticize someone - and this includes self-criticism - find a way to be helpful and give advice rather than be critical.

The best way to help negative people ...... is not to become one of them! Instead of trying to become 'interesting' spend your time being interested (in others)

Sixth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis."

Seventh, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View failure as an event, the conclusion of one singular activity. Observe your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. Failure ..... is a negative state of mind. It may be something you have done, or believe you have done - and it may even be something you'll have to do again - but a failure is definitely not something .... you are.

So ..... makea concious effort to understand what is bugging you and change it .... or at least change your attitude to it.

Even if you're at a point where you're feeling negatively about yourself or events surrounding you, be aware that you're now positioning yourself to make dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it's honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that underly arrogance and conceit.

I've seen the truth of this proven many times in my work with personal development colleagues.

Quote for the Day: "What you have at the moment .... you have attracted to you by the person you've become!"
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John Wylie MCIPR Director of Public Affairs
Translate Scotland Public Relations & Marketing